I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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