he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize