that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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