wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
