Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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