hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dick very happy bro
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
