And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
