Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
