We won't sleep together?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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