I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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