So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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