I faked an abortion last night.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
