my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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