No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize