My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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