Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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