okay pat passed out under dana's car
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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