Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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