When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
