Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I need a beard to bite.
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