We won't sleep together?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
