he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
