Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
