Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
