please come you make the beer taste better
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
