they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
