He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think your dad took our porno
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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