Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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