Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
