i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
