so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
