cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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