absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize