ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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