Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize