paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
