what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
