i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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