I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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