I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
