i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
