in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to calm my uterus...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
