Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
