He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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