East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This is my gift to your gina
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
