my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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