wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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