Quick, to the slutcave!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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