Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
