dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
