Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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