i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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