My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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