her vagina looked like bernie madoff
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
