I can tuck mytits in my pants
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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