Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
home. puking in laundry basket.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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