So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
