a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
