Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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