My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
